1. “Grounding a child is really punishment for the parents.” I will be saying this to myself for the next three weeks.
2. Is it no longer a professional courtesy to inform someone when he or she didn’t get the job for which he or she interviewed?
3. At Chaperone training (required by my children’s school) the principal whispered when saying, “On field trips there is no smoking and no alcohol consumption.” I wanted to stand up and whisper, “Crap! I’m outta here!”
4. My next door neighbor told me that she gauges whether she is late taking her children to school by whether or not I’m home. If I’m home, then she knows her children are not late. If I’m gone, she knows she late. Ummmm… she meant that in a good way. I know she did.
Really, she did.
5. Yesterday (February 7, 2013) it was 60° in Memphis. My friend from Nebraska, where the temp was 37° with a wind chill that made it feel like 29°, also left on her trip to Arkansas yesterday. Today the temperature in Memphis is 40°. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
6. Flint needs to add another category to their “crackdown.” While I was filling my car with gas, I watched a middle age, rotund man clad in a t-shirt that was clearly meant for someone rotund free and much shorter in the torso and saggy pants walk from the pumps to the station. I was thinking, “Dude, put on some clothes that fit,” when suddenly I heard screaming in my head and my eyes started burning. The dude wasn’t wearing any underwear, and I got way more crack than I was prepared for. “Dear God!” I begged, “If you have one miracle, remove that sight from my eyes, renew my mind and restore right vision to me!”