1. If you are going to stand in the middle of the parking garage’s exit route, don’t be surprised when when you get hit by a car.
2. I embarrass myself enough the way it is. I don’t need my phone’s spellcheck’s help.
3. The pain of having your Achilles smashed by a shopping cart is akin to having your tongue slammed in the car door.
4. My new favorite Knock, Knock joke.
5. My parents called our detached, one-car garage “the barn.” To this day, I still refer to detached garages as “barns.”
6. Most of the time trying to teach an impulsive child to think before he or she acts feels like trying to lick your elbow.
7. “‘Believe and follow’ are the heart and lungs of faith.” My pastor said this last Sunday, and I’ve been thinking about it since.