Here I am, and every ounce of me is frightened. Yes, I am scared to blog. That might sound absurd coming from someone who dreams of writing novels, and has, actually, written children’s stories (none published because, well, I’m scared). Blogging is a big fear of mine. Blogging is so… naked. Alone. The proverbial “standing in the middle of a crowd naked” dream turned reality – well, metaphorically speaking. I can’t hide my thoughts behind research or fictional characters. What I write cannot evaporate into ether like what I say. It is just me out here. What I write will be there for everyone to see, and for everyone to judge. The feeling of being exposed to the world is just not comfortable, and, like being naked, everyone will be able to see for themselves the bumps, bulges and blemishes. Blogging is so naked.
Naked or not, here I am. Frightened or not, here I am. So what I feel inadequate. So what I might sound insipid? Insipid is as insipid does. I can be dull, boring, and characterless, or I can put myself out there, throw caution to the wind, and tell whoever is willing to listen what is on my mind. The chips fall where they may. Seize the moment! Seize the day! Carpe Diem! There’s nothing to fear but fear itself! Let’s do this thing! Hoorah!
Yeah, that didn’t help.
Still, here I am. Hopefully, I can fill these pages with insightful, humorous, interesting, and significant posts. I really do try to see the funny and the fun in most everything. Eventually I get around to laughing. (Hoorah!) Nakedness does have it’s purposes. Showering would be difficult if one is not naked. Being born fully clothed presents a myriad of difficulties. And just for those whose minds naturally drift there, sex would be less enjoyable if clothing were required. The vulnerability of being exposed isn’t all bad. It just sounds that way.
I am still feeling naked but no longer frightened. Apprehensive, yes. Frightened, no. I guess apprehensive-naked is better than frightened-naked. Knowing that there’s a payoff – a day that I can stand naked in front of the world and not feel complete dread – makes it a little easier to embrace vulnerability.
Okay. I’ll take it, and I’ll go with it.